ualani nguyen
"ants in ur hair" -Quynh
Hello! My name is Ualani Nguyen. I’m your treasurer for the 2023-2024 term! 💙💛 I love money and I am in need of money as of right now. Please donate to the poor. 🙏 |
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a key club story:
I went to go get some gas station PIZZA, but when I arrived, I got knocked out. The pizza had weird stuff in it and my body decided to go into cardiac arrest. Then, I woke up, finding myself in a whole different world. The sky was yellow, the sun looked like a bee’s head, and the grass looked like frozen honey. I was like “Omg, where am I?!” A HEDGEHOG with a nice gold chain came up to me and said “Yo you are at the one and only, PIEDMONT HILLS KEY CLUB!” I went “No way, THE Piedmont Hills Key Club?? THAT key club?? Omg, this is crazyyy!” The Hedgehog said “Yeah man, THE Piedmont Hills Key Club. Oh yeah by the way, my name is Jerry.” Before I could reply to Jerry the Hedgehog a bag of DIRT drop from the sky and smush poor hedgehog man. Then a shady looking groundhog came out of the ground and claimed to be Jerry’s WIFE. In my mind, I was like “No way, Jerry had a wife? Wow, he seemed like a guy who would be lonely and single forever, just like Stanley.” Jerry’s wife introduced herself, saying her name is Holly. I then replied, “Howdy Holly, my name is Ualani.” Holly began sobbing uncontrollably. I was confused to why she was, then I realized, “Oh yeah, Jerry died.” Then Holly suddenly stopped crying and proceeded to say, in the most monotonous voice ever, that the only way to save my buddy, Jerry the Hedgehog, was to find the Great Grandmaster Bee. I was like, “What?” Holly proceeded to explain, “You see, once we find the Great Grandmaster Bee and explain him our circumstances, he shall chant a spell called, ‘The 4 CORE VALUES of Key Club.’ The spell has the ability to resurrect people from the DEAD!!” I was mind-blown. “That is…crazy! But wait, will the Great Grandmaster Bee do so for us if we just explain our circumstances? What if he doesn’t? What should we do to convince him if he refuses?” Holly the Groundhog replied, “Oh, no worries my fellow, what we shall do is present him with a worthy enough gift!…We shall travel through the Land of the Holy Potatoes and find the most scrumptious POTATO to ever exist in whole world!” I was like, “The Land of the Holy Potatoes??!! No way! I heard that land was covered in potato monsters. I can’t do this. I am a coward!” Holly tried to persuade me. I stood my ground, saying, “Wait a minute…Jerry isn’t even my buddy. I don’t know this man. I have only met him a few minutes ago! Who cares about Jerry. I am hungry.” The hunger began getting to me, I felt a sudden immense feeling of hunger. I then noticed…Jerry’s freshly dead body on the ground. I tried to resist! I can’t lost myself…I couldn’t win against my hunger in the end. I was drooling. I rushed to try to eat poor Jerry’s dead body. But, luckily, before I could, an ant popped up from behind and knock the back of my head. ARUGDHDHRHHEHDHD. I fell down onto the ground. Before I lost my consciousness, I cursed at Mr. Ant. I cursed like a loaded machine gun. I have never cursed so much in my life until that very moment. Then, a sudden veil of darkness covered my eyes. I was like “Huh?” Then, I woke up. The end.